We quickly remedied this situation with a great movie night. It was good to leave Amarillo knowing that they would now understand many more subtle one-liners that previously passed them by. Our work was complete.
Hopefully you have seen this folklore fantasy flick. Your ability to believe in the existence of the R.O.U.S. (Rodents Of Unusual Size) will be necessary for you to understand our recent home vandalization.
After being gone for several days in Amarillo last week, we returned home to find things not quite as we'd left them. Though far from the fire swamp, it quickly became evident that we had been invaded by at least one R.O.U.S. Having learned from The Princess Bride, we were prepared for the disaster in store.
First it ran along most kitchen surfaces, leaving behind evidence of its search in all appropriate areas for food. However, it found our tastes to be far from refined for its nasty little palate and left all the human food alone.
With a disappointed appetite it moved on to the dining room. Based on the pile of D.O.U.S. found in the chair at the old piano, it must have held quite the concert for its furry underlings. A few unique droppings were found on the floor nearby, certainly the deposit of an overzealous mouseketeer.
But hunger called again and it resumed the search for an acceptable meal. Just inside the living room the R.O.U.S. discovered some out of season Christmas candles on tall stands. Perfect. In a display of surprising agility it climbed only the tallest stand and chewed round and round the candle rim. As we all know, this is the only part of the candle worth eating. Coincidentally, it also left a few perfect sets of teeth marks in the wax, which would come in handy when it was time to I.D. this R.O.U.S. and bring it to justice.
When we arrived home we were quite dismayed and submitted all evidence to an expert. Live traps were employed and potential break-in locations identified and defended appropriately against further intrusion.
As for Geoff and I, we aren't so sure...